The Joy Luck Club

"But this did not stop Second Wife from thinking of a way. She was tired of watching her household's money being washed away in so many different teahouses. The money he spent was enough to support five more wives! She was anxious to quiet Wu Tsing's outside appetite. So she conspired with Wu Tsing to lure your mother to his bed.

"She chatted with your mother, discovered that she planned to go to the Monastery of the Spirits' Retreat the next day. And Second Wife showed up at that place as well. And after more friendly talk, she invited your mother to dinner. Your mother was so lonely for good conversation she gladly accepted. And after the dinner, Second Wife said to your mother, 'Do you play mah jong? Oh, it doesn't matter if you play badly. We are only three people now and cannot play at all unless you would be kind enough to join us tomorrow night. '

"The next night, after a long evening of mah jong, Second Wife yawned and insisted my mother spend the night. 'Stay! Stay! Don't be so polite. No, your politeness is really more inconvenient. Why wake the rickshaw boy? ' said Second Wife. 'Look here, my bed is certainly big enough for two. '

"As your mother slept soundly in Second Wife's bed, Second Wife got up in the middle of the night and left the dark room, and Wu Tsing took her place. When your mother awoke to find him touching her beneath her undergarments, she jumped out of bed. He grabbed her by her hair and threw her on the floor, then put his foot on her throat and told her to undress. Your mother did not scream or cry when he fell on her.

"In the early morning, she left in a rickshaw, her hair undone and with tears streaming down her face. She told no one but me what had happened. But Second Wife complained to many people about the shameless widow who had enchanted Wu Tsing into bed. How could a worthless widow accuse a rich woman of lying?

"So when Wu Tsing asked your mother to be his third concubine, to bear him a son, what choice did she have? She was already as low as a prostitute. And when she returned to her brother's house and kowtowed three times to say good-bye, her brother kicked her, and her own mother banned her from the family house forever. That is why you did not see your mother again until your grandmother died. Your mother went to live in Tientsin, to hide her shame with Wu Tsing's wealth. And three years later, she gave birth to a son, which Second Wife claimed as her own.

"And that is how I came to live in Wu Tsing's house, " concluded Yan Chang proudly.

And that was how I learned that the baby Syaudi was really my mother's son, my littlest brother.

In truth, this was a bad thing that Yan Chang had done, telling me my mother's story. Secrets are kept from children, a lid on top of the soup kettle, so they do not boil over with too much truth.

After Yan Chang told me this story, I saw everything. I heard things I had never understood before.

I saw Second Wife's true nature.

I saw how she often gave Fifth Wife money to go visit her poor village, encouraging this silly girl to "show your friends and family how rich you've become! " And of course, her visits always reminded Wu Tsing of Fifth Wife's low-class background and how foolish he had been to be lured by her earthy flesh.

I saw Second Wife koutou to First Wife, bowing with deep respect while offering her more opium. And I knew why First Wife's power had been drained away.

I saw how fearful Third Wife became when Second Wife told her stories of old concubines who were kicked out into the streets. And I knew why Third Wife watched over Second Wife's health and happiness.

And I saw my mother's terrible pain as Second Wife bounced Syaudi on her lap, kissing my mother's son and telling this baby, "As long as I am your mother, you will never be poor. You will never be unhappy. You will grow up to own this household and care for me in my old age. "

And I knew why my mother cried in her room so often. Wu Tsing's promise of a house-for becoming the mother of his only son-had disappeared the day Second Wife collapsed from another bout of pretend-suicide. And my mother knew she could do nothing to bring the promise back.

I suffered so much after Yan Chang told me my mother's story. I wanted my mother to shout at Wu Tsing, to shout at Second Wife, to shout at Yan Chang and say she was wrong to tell me these stories. But my mother did not even have the right to do this. She had no choice.

Two days before the lunar new year, Yan Chang woke me when it was still black outside.

"Quickly! " she cried, pulling me along before my mind and eyes could work together.

My mother's room was brightly lit. As soon as I walked in I could see her. I ran to her bed and stood on the footstool. Her arms and legs were moving back and forth as she lay on her back. She was like a soldier, marching to nowhere, her head looking right then left. And now her whole body became straight and stiff as if to stretch herself out of her body. Her jaw was pulled down and I saw her tongue was swollen and she was coughing to try to make it fall out.

"Wake up! " I whispered, and then I turned and saw everybody standing there: Wu Tsing, Yan Chang, Second Wife, Third Wife, Fifth Wife, the doctor.

"She has taken too much opium, " cried Yan Chang. "The doctor says he can do nothing. She has poisoned herself. "

So they were doing nothing, only waiting. I also waited those many hours.

The only sounds were that of the girl in the clock playing the violin. And I wanted to shout to the clock and make its meaningless noise be silent, but I did not.